W.A.L.T recall events through the eyes of an animal.
Success Criteria
I know I will be successful when my recount has a
- Title
- Orientation: When? Who? Where? Why?
- Sequence of events: What happened?
- Personal Comment: How did the events make you feel?
First Draft.
Rescue Operation
It was May the day was over 20 degrees in the African plains we were migrating. When suddenly I caught a whiff of danger. I told my herd to slow down because the area felt suspicious.
We took 4 steps forward when suddenly a few lions jumped us, a few seconds later we were sprinting away, we had to protect the young but our body’s only felt the need to run. The only thing on my mind is, will the young die, will I be blamed? No, maybe if I keep running they won’t die, BAM! One of the lions isolates the calf and wrestles him down into the water, I felt sorrowful that I couldn't save the young. I could hear the calf scream in my mind. I couldn't bare the screams, it was as loud as a psychotic fire alarm, I had to make it stop, all the shrieking and loud noises. As soon as we got back I saw a vision, the calf was being devoured by the blood hungry lion’s. Every bite they took got more disturbing, their razor blade like teeth puncturing the calf’s body, I needed to stop it, it must go away at some point it. If it won't stop, ill have to stop it. I go around looking for men worthy to fight against the ruthless lions. Almost every buffalo joins me for the rescue mission. We set out to fight the lions and rescue the calf ASAP, we wouldn't rest until the deed was done, that was our mission. We arrive staring at the lions while they try to sink their scalpel like teeth and bite with their dinosaur like jaws. We started ramming, charging, bashing, and barging the lions. We were successful at the rescue operation. We saved the young, the herd felt so proud, we rescued the calf from the brink of death.
Hey Aron
ReplyDeleteI really like your draft it have many juicy words. I think you could put more labels about it but I like it.
I really like your first draft Aron. I really like the way you said I felt sorrowful that I couldn't save the young. Maybe you could use some commas but everything else is good keep it up.
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